Sleep Myths, Busted

There are so many opinions and misconceptions around sleep-training. I’m busting the myths that I hear the most often!

1.     Sleep Training Means Making My Baby “Cry It Out”

It is a common misconception that the only way to sleep-train, is to let a baby “Cry It Out”.  I actually don’t believe in Cry It Out at all!  There are many different methods of sleep-training.  At one end of the spectrum there are gentle techniques that require minimal crying.  At another end there is Cry It Out, which means you put your baby down for bed and don’t go in again until morning (10-12 hours later).   In the middle of these two you have intermediate methods, where there will be some crying, but there is parent intervention and comforting given.  I like to use a few different intermediate techniques.

There is More to Good Sleep than Just a Chosen Sleep Training Method

I’m like a sleep detective, looking at all the little clues and solving the mystery as to why your child isn’t sleeping well.  I take your situation, your child’s temperament, your comfort-level with crying, and your family’s philosophy into account when I form a plan for sleep-training.  

There is so much more that goes into sleep training, beyond just the specific sleep-training plan.  There are so many contributing factors that lead to poor sleep. I look into things like your daytime routine, baby’s feeding schedule, nap schedule, bedtime routine, and your baby’s sleep associations.  We have to work on all of these things in order to set a good foundation for sleep training to actually work.

There Will Be Some Crying

A lot of people ask if their baby is going to cry during sleep training.  The short answer is yes, there will be some crying involved.  This crying is not because your baby feels that you have abandoned him. Crying is your baby’s way of communicating.  During sleep-training, a baby will cry as a response to change.  Change is uncomfortable for all of us, and crying is just your baby’s way of complaining to you about this change.  It’s there way of saying, “Hey, I was comfortable with what I was doing before, I don’t know what we are doing here”.   

Let’s Put It Into Perspective

 Think about a dead-end job that you’ve had in the past.  You don’t like the job, you don’t get much joy from it, it isn’t really where you see yourself in the future, and it probably is leaving you feeling a little burnt-out.  You don’t like it, but it’s comfortable, so you stay for a while.  One day, you’ve finally had enough and you find a new job, a dream job.  This job is fulfilling and won’t leave you feeling tired and burnt out.  Even so, starting a new job is uncomfortable.  So, you go into your first day with that knot in your stomach and you reconsider whether you should have taken this job at all. 

Then, after a few days you’re more comfortable in your environment and that feeling goes away.  Suddenly, you’re happier and fulfilled.  Yep, that’s basically how your baby feels about sleep training!  Hence, the crying (complaining).  In the end, it is what is best for you and your baby.

2.    Sleep Training My Baby is Selfish and is Only for My Own Benefit.  I Will Be Neglecting My Baby’s Needs

If you’ve felt this way every time you consider sleep training your baby, you aren’t alone. The mom guilt is real!

Or maybe you’re on board with sleep training but a well-intentioned friend or family member (or IG follower, etc) has made you feel like a bad mom for even considering this.

Unless You Are Pushing Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night Before She is Ready, Sleep Training is Not Selfish.  

Sleep training doesn’t even mean making your baby sleep all night without a feeding (because some babies may need a night feeding, maybe two!)

Sleep Training is Not Just For Your Benefit.  Sleep is Important For Your Baby As Well!

Yes, sleep training means the obvious benefit to you as a parent- more sleep.  Even if your own sleep is your only motivation for sleep training, your sleep actually does benefit your whole family.  When you’re well-rested you’re a better wife, employee, and mother to your other children.  Plus, your mental health is not only important for you, but for your family too.

There are positive effects of sleep for your baby as well:

1.     Well-rested baby=much happier baby.  Enough said.

2.    A well-rested baby can better practice milestones 

3.    Poor sleep in infancy is linked to weight gain and obesity into adulthood*

4.    Poor sleep in toddlers is linked to behavior issues (you know- just how you have a short fuse on little sleep).

5.    Sleep issues in infancy don’t always get better on their own, they can often last into childhood **

3.    Sleep Training Means My Baby and I Will Never Snuggle Before Bed

You may have an impression that sleep training means that since you put your child to bed awake, you won’t be able to snuggle any more,
Nope! It just means you need to switch up the routine a bit so you can enjoy snuggles while baby is still awake!

I Still Want You to Enjoy Snuggles With Your Little One

I encourage parents to get some cuddling in with their child prior to bed.  We may have to cut it a little shorter than what you’re normally used to if your child is starting to fall asleep in your arms.  Once your child has been falling asleep on their own for a while, falling asleep in your arms every so often (like- maybe once a week or so) isn’t a big deal, since your child has the skills in place to fall asleep independently.

4.    I Can’t Sleep Train if I Share a Room with My Baby

It is totally possible to sleep train while still room-sharing.  It’s also possible to sleep train if your children room-share.  It just means you may need to get creative!

Sharing a Room With Your Baby?

For some, they can sleep-train bedside without a problem. For others, this may mean moving out of the room temporarily while sleep training.  A great solution to room-sharing (whether with parents or a sibling) is a SlumberPod. Your baby won’t be able to see you, plus it’s a blackout solution. Enter the code THEREST$20 at checkout to use my discount.

Siblings Sharing a Room?

Use a white noise machine (or maybe even two)!  You may have to get creative with bedtimes.  You may also be surprised how well siblings can tune each other out!

5.    My Child is Hopeless and Can’t Be Sleep Trained

So many parents feel like their child won’t be able to sleep-train.  I’ve heard it all.  Unless your child has a medical condition keeping them from sleeping, it can be done!  Sleep-training does require a good deal of effort on your part.  It’s rarely a one-night miracle.  You have to be willing to put in the work, or you won’t see results.  Some children are easier to sleep-train than others (some of us are just naturally better sleepers than others), but you will see results if you put in the work.

The advantage of hiring me to help you sleep train isn’t only that I form a plan for you, but I provide you support throughout the whole process.  This makes it so much easier for you to stay on task!

Have you heard any of these myths before?

If this has put your mind at ease, and you’re ready to get the rest you need, book your free evaluation call.

*https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19840242/

** https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3559818/